Killing Jasmine
Comments: 2
We will never be jasmine-free. Quite a few years ago my wife and I made the mistake of planting jasmine in the ground rather than quarantining it in a pot. Every summer it explodes with rhizomic fury and threatens to take over the garden. Lebensraum! it screams, Must have lebensraum!
Tomorrow begins the annual culling of the jasmine. It’s a brutal, take-no-prisoners affair in which, unbound by any horticultural Geneva convention, I go to town with the biggest pair of shears I can find. I cut, I saw, I hack… beads of sweat flying from me like spent cartridges from an automatic weapon. At the end of the day I stand amid the dead and dying, gore-stained and weary but triumphant. Surveying the carnage, I wipe a bleeding hand across my brow and let out my victory cry: Right! Time for a drink then.
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Posted to General Rants • 2002.07.12 (Fri) • 18:08
Comments
Posted by Jeff 2002.07.14, 05:22
I think gin and tonic is the drink of choice for jasmine-beating thugs! ;-)
Posted by jh 2002.07.15, 22:45
Absolutely!
Bombay Sapphire with Schweppes tonic (although I can’t be too choosy with the tonic in these parts; limited availability and all) and a tiny dash of Angostura bitters. Tanqueray does nicely, too.
Of course, this is all for medicinal purposes only. It’s the quinine, you see. Helps keep the malaria at bay.
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