Haircut
Comments: 3
As my hairline recedes north as inexorably as the polar ice cap, I find myself increasingly fighting off thoughts of some sort of follicular Kyoto Protocol, some way of halting the deforestation of this old-growth stand of mine. Each haircut seems to take a little less time than the last as the barber’s options dwindle. He stands there behind me and sighs quietly like the Brazilian Minister of the Interior surveying what’s left of the Amazon Basin.
But what can you do? Any remedial action would either look ridiculous or require a vanity I can no longer muster. No, men must simply play the hand they’re dealt when it comes to hair and that’s all there is to it. An ace up your sleeve or under the table won’t help when the genetic deck’s been stacked against you. Best find another game, pal… best find another game.
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Posted to Oh, the Humanity • 2002.09.22 (Sun) • 18:08
Comments
Posted by Jeff 2002.09.22, 22:11
Revel in your erosion! Embrace it.
I keep my follicle-challenged head close cut (bonus: buzz cuts are in right now). No “hat” hair when I wear a chapeau (i.e. baseball cap) and no need to primp and blow dry in the morning. It’s simply one thing I no longer have to worry about.
Despite this, my haircutter thinks I’m ten years younger than I am (she gets a nice tip even though I don’t believe her!)
Posted by jh 2002.09.24, 10:30
Jeff — Yours is the dignified way to do things and I certainly intend to follow suit.
I’m sure it’s the same everywhere, but men do some absolutely ridiculous things here. There’s a large national chain of hair replacement salons called “Art Nature” which advertises relentlessly on TV and in magazines by pulling out every cliched stop of the genre; men diving into swimming pools and surfacing as well-pelted as otters, close-ups of women running their Empress Wu fingernails through the luxurious hair of grateful subjects, the slightly tentative grins of a self-confidence bought with money.
Then are toupees, of course, but the less said here the better. The very word is enough to make me laugh.
And then there are the comb-overs. Oh god, the comb-overs. How this bizarre activity ever came to be seen as an alternative to hair loss is simply beyond me. You see men of a certain age in the public baths and hot springs looking completely mad, a sheet of lank hair hanging limply off one side of their head like the flag of a defeated army. They stand before mirrors carefully plastering these once-valiant strands over their heads and it’s all I can do to stop myself saying something.
Posted by Jeff 2002.09.26, 01:07
We have the same commercials over here (well, perhaps without the extra long fingernails).
Before the web, I might have had a little time to fuss with my hair. Now, I’m trying to simplify my life and nature’s helping me.
Men are vain, aren’t we? Given the choice, I’d rather have hair, but when push comes to shove I’d rather not have to pay for my luxurious locks. I’d rather buy some new tech toy.
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