King of the World #1
Comments: 12
When I’m King of the World, and it may take a little while, motor vehicles will be quiter and it will be illegal to alter one in any way to make it noisier. Punishments will be strict: your age in solitary confinement, listening to a perpetual 13-second loop of your infringing muffler alteration.
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Posted to King of the World • 2004.08.02 (Mon) • 11:22
Comments
Posted by Ando 2004.08.02, 11:44
One of my roomies in college had a souped-up VW, it was great because of the distinctive sound it made. I could be sitting in our room, and hear the sound of his car going down the street, a few minutes later he’d walk into the room.
It came in handy when he came to pick me up at the mall where I was working during a terrible storm - rather than hold the door open watching for him, I just kept it open a crack, listening for the sound of his car.
Brian was, and probably still is a crazy driver. Instant lane changes, smokeshows, etc were the norm for him. As fun as it was during college, if I lived near him now, I’d hate it.
Posted by mark 2004.08.02, 12:02
Sure, but what might become of the Bosozoku motorcycle industry? Hundreds of angry, young, imperial flag waving youth will no longer be able to make a 50cc scooter engine drown out an F-18.
Posted by Kaesa 2004.08.02, 12:11
Ecch, I know a kid who drives by my house every day at the same time, base blaring. It shakes everything in the house and makes the dogs bark. And he’s proud of it! He also has DVD and Playstation screens in several of the car’s mirrors, though, so that shows you the amount of sense he’s got. Geh.
Posted by Liz 2004.08.02, 12:29
you should also mention the ridiculous sound system they have custom-made and installed right into their back trunk which doesn’t make any sense at all to me because where would you put the spare tire and the jack?
Posted by Joshua Zika 2004.08.02, 14:54
We should just can the car thing except for transportation of goods. i.e. Semi’s and such. And everyone should bike. Or at least outlaw from the cities.
Posted by Paul 2004.08.02, 19:50
Oh… But I will miss the sound of the rumbling Harley, Your Majesty.
Posted by Kristen 2004.08.02, 22:39
Ah, but this will be an amusing category.
BTW, I am the Empress of Everything. I’ll deign your world-kingdom admittance into my Empire, my friend king. We are quiet silent here except for the click of too-long fingernails on keyboards. But only on Sundays; I hand around the clippers once a week.
Posted by Ando 2004.08.02, 22:51
Joshua,
Biking indeed maybe the ideal answer - it’s been tried here though. If your machine is a lightweight, beautiful, impressive piece of artwork then we’re talking.
Here though, the bike is often what we often call a “Momma Chari”, a ancient cast-iron beast that takes forever to get going fast. Perhaps the reason why people don’t have as many accidents here is because they’re going too slow. It’s certainly not the brakes. They cry, peal, an shriek at the slightest touch. They do not, I repeat DO NOT help you slow down one bit. Instead, they alert every living creature that a three-speed, hulking mammoth with headlights, side mirrors, hand protectors, umbrella holders, and every manner of basket in excistence - for baby, beast, or your (Insert name of brand here) here. Not to mention that these creatures can ride in a straight line if their life depended on it. I think alcoholics can do a better job - if they’ve had enough, hopefully they’re sleeping somewhere.
This noise, the grating sound of worn brakes on worn wheels, jabbering on a cell phone, can perhaps be louder than the baddest-ass Bosozoku.
Posted by Quinlan 2004.08.22, 01:28
Those bosozoku go blaring past our apartment every weekend night. It sometimes wakes me up. I’ve fantasized about hunting them with a paintball gun. Why must the muffler be removed from every bike those kids use to go back and forth down the street? Ugh. That’s Kita-ku I guess.
Posted by Jason 2004.08.25, 15:33
I thought you said strict? There isn’t a night goes by I don’t wish I had a nice strong pellet gun, you know those things our parents were crazy to let us have as kids, to pop those stupid-moped-engine screamin-morons that rip passed our house each night.
The only way I’ve retained sanity is the movie which plays in my mind of watching in slow motion as the pellet hits their helmet, the head keels back, hands release handlebars, front tire swirving now, moped dips, driver bails, and the moped skids off to be pulverized by a passing bus…get a real bike kid!
Posted by roxio 2005.01.25, 05:04
I entered “king of the world” as a search phrase to see if President (not mine) Bush’s name came up, in light of his inaugural illusions of grandeur and found this blog.
I like the way you think. You’re my kind of people.
Ciao, Roxio
Posted by jean 2005.01.25, 23:07
Roxio was right, you are. If you lived in Detroit, we’d ask you to go the club with us.
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