Antipixel | Blog | Supersize me

Supersize me

Comments: 29

I ate McDonalds ‘food’ today for the first time in a couple of years. I’d just been to the pool and had a good long swim and felt like eating lots of fat and sugar.

Where else was I supposed to go?

I bought a Big Mac, the flagship burger, and it was not without a certain sense of anticipation that I rode home, burger swinging in a plastic bag from the handlebars of my bike.

It was every bit as bad as I remember. Not bad exactly — bad suggests at least something is registering on the sensorium — but more like a complete absence of anything where you expect something to be, in this case food (or a food-like substance) and the usually-attendent concept of flavour. It’s not that the burger really did taste like cardboard soaked until mashable in a weak consommé: I was ready for that. What struck me was the absence of any differentiation of flavour. I wouldn’t have minded a little post-consumer waste with my cardboard.

One of the very best things about food, probably only second to the fact that it keeps you alive, is the way flavours from different ingredients combine. Even a single item, a piece of fruit, a carrot, can have slightly varying flavour depending on which part you eat.

The burger I ate today was a triumph of mid-twentieth century fast food technology and marketing. It had several layers; it had meat, a representative vegetable in the form of lettuce (two if you count ketchup), and an additional sauce-like component whose sole purpose seemed to be to act as a lubricant to allow the lettuce to slip out of the burger. Oh, and sesame seeds on top. This was a multi-tiered thing I was eating, and yet every single part of it tasted like any other part!

The only exception came from the slices of pickles and they were too few. I saved one until the end because I had to finish with something. It was small and wilted and the thickness of a 1-yen coin. I popped it in my mouth and it was like a crescendo. I heard cymbals.

I even did a little test and broke the burger apart so I could eat individual pieces of it. Ignoring slight variations in texture (and they were slight), I really couldn’t tell the difference between the individual components. It was just … homogenous. I should have put it in a blender and pretended I was eating astronaut food.

But I certainly did get my fat and sugar hit, and that was what I was after. As the burger began to reconstitute itself Blob-like in my stomach, the sugar high began to kick as if to say “Everything’s going to be alright.”

And you know what? It was, and it is. And I think it’s going to be alright for another couple of years now.

•••
Posted to General Rants • 2004.11.02 (Tue) • 23:50

Comments

Posted by monkeyinabox 2004.11.03, 02:48

Yeah, McDonalds food is plain bad, boring and stumps me how they continue to rule the fast food industry. Seriously on the fast food good-tasting level Carl’s Jr or Buger King always have better tasting burgers. Not as good as independent burger places, but they are much better than Ronalds stuff.

Posted by peteris 2004.11.03, 04:11

Nice and insightful write-up, thanks for posting. And neat site, too.

Posted by Josh Hattersley 2004.11.03, 04:25

Tomatoes are, in fact, fruit. Just thought you might like to know.

Posted by Adam Rice 2004.11.03, 05:14

I worked at a McD’s when I was 16. I haven’t eaten there since (though I did have a Coke at one, once).

I had the good fortune of working there during one of the periods when the McRib sandwich was on the menu. The great thing about the McRib is the shape: rather than the processed meat being pressed into a disk, it’s formed into a complex rectangular slab with squared-off protrusions and corrugations intended to suggest rib bones (obviously, there are no bones in it). Once it’s been fried and stewed in bbq sauce for a while (we could leave them in the “marinator” after cooking for up to 2 hours), it’s not so obvious, but when they’re fresh from the freezer, they look almost like some kind of giant Lego piece, and not at all like something you might eat.

Posted by xian 2004.11.03, 05:26

Sure, tomatoes are fruit, but they are also vegetables. Fruits and vegetables are not mutually exclusive categories. Fruits are the reproductive parts of plants and vegetables are edible plants in general.

Tomatoes are often viewed as vegetables because although they are sweet they are also somewhat savory. Isn’t a green pepper a fruit by the same token?

Posted by zetetes 2004.11.03, 09:25

nice writeup. i remember that ‘everything’s gonna be alright’-sugar rush from a few weeks ago. i flew back home from vacation, that’s just a 2-hours-flight. since i didn’t fly for years, i felt kinda strange in that airport, think about it, airports are really strange places. realizing this, i decided to making it even stranger and getting a McD meal. with coke. well, the rest of the day i spent flying some thousands feet above ground, if not while sitting on a plane than just lurking around airports. nice.

Posted by Todd 2004.11.03, 10:53

You just have to talk about every aspect of your life, complain about every pigment, and ramble on about things no one cares about except you, don’t you?

Yes, it’s your personal blog, but if its going to get that much traffic, please post something that we arn’t going to fall asleep to.

Posted by Natalie 2004.11.03, 11:52

The tomato is the Fruit of the plant of the same name.

hence the tomato you get in your burger is in fact a Fruit and not a Vegetable.

Ahem.

Fantastic write up, Jeremy. I hate McChunders with a passion, except for their caramel sundaes, which are insidious in their caramel-nous.

Posted by tokyogoat 2004.11.03, 12:48

was just searching for the ” guaranteed to entertain” statement on the site. Couldn’t find it. Truly outrageous.
Todd, If you are having a friendly dig at the author of this site please forgive me. If not, there is an easy solution to your concern.

Posted by Zelnox 2004.11.03, 14:29

The only fast food burger I like in my area is from Harvey’s. You get to pick how the burger is done (prepared in front of you). The meat tastes like meat (even flame broiled).

I’d rather go for fast food Chinese than McDonald’s.

Posted by trench 2004.11.03, 21:40

have you seen the movie/documentary SUPER SIZE ME? Makes you think twice about eating Mickey Dees.

Posted by David Kaspar 2004.11.04, 00:40

I quite enjoy a cheese burger once a month. Would not touch Big Mac however.

Nice write up, made me think about details I did not realise.

“Knowledge is to know that a tomato is a vegetable… Wisdom is to know not to put tomatoes in a fruit salad”

Posted by Jared 2004.11.04, 06:10

Thank God for A&W. I haven’t eaten at McDonalds in years, and I’m lovin’ it.

Posted by Brena 2004.11.04, 13:19

Sadly I actually enjoy the odd meal at Maccas. Yes it’s junk but sometimes junk fills a need, not sure which one though…

Posted by David 2004.11.04, 17:48

I love the closing statement to this post. If anything, we need more people saying this on the web. Cheers to the warm and fuzzy feelings!

Posted by vanessa 2004.11.05, 10:11

go watch “super size me” - documentary on fast food!

Posted by R. Rose 2004.11.11, 14:31

I think Todd is a jackass and the tomato veggie vs. tomato fruit argument is almost as tiresome as watching my in-laws vacation to Alaska video twice. That said, thanks for a highly amusing and well written piece.

Posted by Rob 2004.11.15, 13:31

Don’t know why everyone hate Mcdonalds so much.. Is it just cool to openly go against popularity? I like McDonalds, I like StarBucks.. I must be a fool.. Obviously I’ve been brainwashed and have no idea what is good and bad. Big Mac has cheese too. :) At least we get our apply pies fried in oil and not baked like back home.. and we get those yummy Teriyaki burgers too.

Posted by Al Nyden 2004.11.16, 12:16

I agree, McDonalds burgers are just about the worst in fast food land. Carls Jr., In & Out and Fatburger are worlds ahead. However, in fairness, it must be mentioned that their fries are great. Also important, and downright shocking — the chicken salads are actually pretty good. I recommend grilled chicken bacon ranch.

The other thing I enjoy about McDonalds is eating there in foreign countries. It is interesting to see how a bad burger can taste just as bad thousands of miles from your hometown. Also interesting is McDonalds take on local culture. Try some hot sauce instead of ketchup in Indonesia, Indian food in London, or fancy coffee in Italy. Why they don’t bring that coffee over here, I really can’t say.

Posted by Emmi 2004.11.25, 10:05

How sad… I was raised in the ‘country’ with the nearent McD’s 400k away, We would wait & wait for our Big Macs & Cookies to be brought home by Ma & Pa & then we would eat them microwaved! We loved it. A twice a year Treat! Now I’m nearly 30 and live 2 mins away from McD’s and we will eat it about once a week. I’m not saying its gourmet, but there is something really comforting about that really yellow cheese & special sauce.. A bite of my childhood perhaps?

Posted by Theodore Schneider 2004.12.01, 02:45

I am 23 years old and I have eaten fast food all of my life. And I have been to McDonalds the most. I have been skinny up until I was 19 and I started gaining weight. I always have addictions to fast food places especially McDonalds. It is hard for me to cut down on fast food because it is so delicious but fattening. Because I liked the film Supersize Me, I am thinking about eventually making a film where I and possible some friends eat nothing but a fried chicken meal for lunch and dinner for about a month and see how I turn out.

Posted by Grant 2005.01.15, 14:28

Macca’s (as we call it hear in Australia) is absolute shit !

You truly would be better off buying Macca’s and throwing the meal in the bin and eating the packaging. It would have more nutritional value then the crap they wrap and sell.

I watched Morgan Spurlocks “Supersize me” and thank you to Morgan for opening my eyes as I haven’t eaten there since and never will again, nor will my young children. Period.

Thanks all and remember … if you wanna stay slim and healthy, eat the packet not the burgers ………….

Posted by Mick Tully 2005.02.11, 16:59

Anagram:

McDonalds Restaurants = Uncle Sam’s standard rot.

Morgan Spurlock for President!

Posted by Zoe 2005.03.29, 10:03

Go David you rock! I love the warm and fuzzy feelings but Maccas I’m not too opinionated about. It doesn’t really worry me as I don’t eat there much but when I do I feel sick afterwards usually because there is so much fat in everything. I don’t even buy the coke there if I get a meal because there’s just something different about it compared to canned or self-bought coke and I’m not sure what. By the way real great site… very tidy indeed. : )

Posted by kool chick 2005.08.06, 20:33

I like Maccas once in a while but the best thing on their menu is definitely the chocolate sundaes, they are the best. People, I don’t know what you are complaining about, Maccas is introducing heaps of healthy foods such as salads, yogurts, healthy fruit smoothies and healthy fresh baguettes. If you don’t like Maccas then stop complaining about it, no one is interested. Period. Goodbye, from your most loyal friend, Fart On My Face

Posted by Seriously Sarcastic 2005.10.11, 12:15

I find it pathetic that you can’t find anything better to do than write about what you ate. Can’t you think of something productive to do with your time?

Posted by hellokiet 2006.02.11, 15:51