Spray-On Jockstrap
Comments: 15
So there are spray-on stockings now (the Air Stocking, a Japanese invention). Quick, convenient and oh-so-comfortable. “It’s perfect for Japan’s summer season, when traditional stockings are too hot. We’re selling several hundred bottles a month — people are coming from all over Japan to buy them,” says Hanae Seki, a department store cosmetics manager. I got to thinking how men could enjoy the benefits of clothing in a can and am pleased to present to active gentlemen everywhere a revolution in comfort and support: the spray-on jockstrap.
Simply take a can of your favourite aerosol adhesive (3M 77 or the ruggedly named Spray Mount are the hot sellers) and apply liberally over nether region. Wait until dry before getting dressed, and you’ll want make sure everything is positioned correctly down there before applying the adhesive. When we say support, we mean it! You’ll be bounding around the court (albeit taking perhaps slightly shorter steps) fully confident and able to concentrate on the balls that matter. Or on the golf course: gets rid of the swing you don’t need so you can work on the one you do.
Removal is easy, leaves you feeling fresh and citrusy, gets rid of grease, oil, grime, tape residue, tar, wax and more — real cutting power in a solvent-free formulation that gives you wipe-away convenience with no filmy residue — and is Generally Regarded As Safe.
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Posted to Oh, the Humanity • 2003.07.05 (Sat) • 10:54
Comments
Posted by James 2003.07.05, 12:08
This is wrong on so many levels…
Posted by eliot 2003.07.05, 13:40
I have to ask. What about 30 minutes after you downed that huge cup of latte?
Posted by Blake 2003.07.06, 00:41
Spray-on anything is NOT good.
Posted by Ashley 2003.07.06, 03:39
Hmm… I thought I had long toes. The “Air Stockings” model has super long toes.
“All the better to spray on her stockings with…”
How do you even it out? What if you get too much in one area, will you get that elephant stocking syndrome?
All kidding aside, what an interesting invention.
Ash
Posted by p 2003.07.06, 04:15
my fav quote from the article, “The air-stocking is also waterproof, so when the summer ends, they can still be worn safely in monsoon season”.
hahaha….
Posted by Ben 2003.07.06, 13:48
That is so very cool/funny. My sister is visiting Japan right now. I should tell her to buy some the next time she calls.
Posted by Mary Beth 2003.07.06, 22:18
“From a medical point of view, when a peripheral blood vessel is pressed the exchange nerve (a nerve of movement) is stimulated, and caused to lose the balance of an autonomous nerve so that it is not possible to relax. But, if “Air Stocking” is used it seems much healthy as well as charms people on the beautiful legs. “
Oh so many good reasons to do this….
Posted by michael 2003.07.06, 23:47
I’m sure, though, that later we’ll be hearing about all kinds of medical problems caused by these ladies’ skin not being able to breathe…
I won’t even comment on the jockstrap thing…
Posted by Laniac 2003.07.07, 09:17
Perhaps the answer the the “latte” question is actually room for a patent for you.
Design a small cap used during application that is unaffected by the adhesive effect. This could allow for a certain amount of “flexure” to remain at the end of the organ. Thus, one would be able to aim the latte’s exit at an appropriate receptacle.
Immediately after application, one would remove the cap from the organ and return it to it’s handy snap-on storage location on the can. The key factor would be the mechanism to effectivly shield the tip of the male member from all overspray which might limit the zone of flexure.
Posted by jh 2003.07.07, 11:32
This could allow for a certain amount of “flexure” to remain at the end
I’m all for flexure in that part of the world.
Posted by klondike.kate 2003.07.08, 04:44
Great idea - spray on stockings - but not totally new. During WWII American women had paint on stockings since the material for stocking was needed for soldier uniforms. (Not quite sure how silk was necessary to the war effort but apparently it was) http://www.usd230.k12.ks.us/espictt/fashion/fashionhome.htm (scroll down)
Posted by riccard0 2003.07.08, 15:13
klondike.kate: “Not quite sure how silk was necessary to the war effort but apparently it was”.
Parachutes!
Posted by ch_godzilla 2003.07.28, 19:40
“American women had paint on stockings since the material for stocking was needed for soldier uniforms. (Not quite sure how silk was necessary to the war effort but apparently it was)”
as I know, silk was needed for parachutes…
Posted by guest 2004.02.18, 11:39
Kinky, nothing beat a great pair of legs!
Posted by Angela Low 2004.03.14, 20:42
I would like to know how can i order the spray-on-stocking ( Air Stocking). How can i go about it? If i am interested to become sole-distributor in singapore, is there any opportunity?
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